Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
