I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
