last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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