This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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