plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We talked him into tasing himself.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
