she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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