Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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