Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
