chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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