My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
