he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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