wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I believe in your delicious
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
