aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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