You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
