can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
