the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize