just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He felt like a one man threesome
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
