From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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