I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
