He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
