I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god it's open bar.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
