She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
