he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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