Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
