ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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