We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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