when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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