Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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