i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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