a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
