Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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