Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
