I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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