she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
