So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
