Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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