I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
