Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
