absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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