They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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