We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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