Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
