why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
