i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
