Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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