bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize