I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
