So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
