Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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