Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
