woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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