The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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