it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
