He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
