Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
