Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
