So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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