Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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