If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
