FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
