Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
