Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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