I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
