new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
