Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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