Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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