Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
