In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
