Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I want her autograph on my taint
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Rumble strips road head = magical
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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