He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
