My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
