I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
